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I am a fulltime student that was in a serious car accident involving drinking and driving. I went through the windshield of my car and was hospitalized for days. Though, I do not remember the accident I know that I hit a parked pick up truck that nobody was in. Thank God. While in the hospital I incurred a $25,000 medical bill. Ultimately I lost my job. The medical bill has now been paid off which is a huge relief. However, I am struggling right now with paying my utilities and property taxes for my home. Since my accident I have underwent intensive alcohol treatment. I went to completed a counseling program, alcohol monitoring bracelet for 11 months and attend 2 to five AA meetings weekly. It's been a long and rough road but feel like I have finally began to live again. I have a sobriety date of April 6 2010. My accident was a spiritual reawakening, my calling that enough is enough. I write most of my school essays and speeches about alcoholism, drinking and driving and the effects and consequences of drinking and driving. I know that my audiences have learned much about the effects of alcohol and pay full attention when I speak of it. It seems that my essays and speeches bring a letter grade A and standing ovations. for the past year I have devoted my time outside of class to learning to live without alcohol and to help anybody along my way. I do intend on applying for a student job at the university in after April 6 once I achieve my 1 year sobriety anniversary. I am struggling though and know that it will take me time to catch up. My main concern is my gas, water and property tax bill which are all over due. They total $1,780. I have never asked for help and always helped others in every way that I could. If you could help me even a little I would so greatly appreciate it. Even if it's only a dollar. Thank you in advance for any help. Sincerely Zmar80. HERE in my paypal    http://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=WLGQUMTG3Z43Q

What an a-hole! This morning (Thursday, New Years Eve)I received a civil summons from my estranged husband. He is bringing me to court for 'permanent custody' of our daughter, Willow, after a 7 year-long relationship of addiction, violence and slavery. How dare him. I have always watched Willow. He drank, I watched her. He worked, always me and her. He slept on the couch after arugments, I lay in the bed with her. I still breast feed her at night. Willow also has a sister, Selena, my oldest who is nine years old. Will a judge allow her to be seperated from her sister? I prayed for years that my husband would get help. Detox, counseling, whatever, will the system take her from me and give her to him. I think not.

When my self-esteem was shattered by him and after my baby brother's suicide in 2007 the only thing I held on to were my children. I know that I have my faults and that I may be a little crazy sometimes, but there are few things that I am damned good at and the first one is being an awesome mother. I guess he will play the Bi-Polar card (an unfortunate thorn in my side) that he always seems to do when arugments arise. I am a new woman after leaving him and I will not be broken by this. God give me the strength. I am an awesome woman and mother. Hear me roar

Week 2:

(I was emailed by someone that tried to help me empathize a little more with her situation and a little less mine.  This is how I responded.)

Yea, I agree... I'm getting better at dealing with it.  I just needed to know that she wasn't drunk and hoping for some action... I know it sounds horrible that I would have to ask a question like that but I feel it was essential for me to be able to help her the best that I can.  As of now (and I believe her), she felt safe with the stranger and her friend... they were both drugged, but her friend more (her friend drank most of the beer)... who ended up leaving and wondering the street.  She remembers most of it now and it was physical and she froze.  It's awful but I think we're making some headway, and fast.  I have been with her almost all day and night for the last week and we're taking some steps toward a normal week this week.  We are mostly dealing with random high levels of stress from both of us that kind of pop out of nowhere... mine because I'm angry at this guy, that this had to happen to her, and that I wasn't there to give it my all to protect her, hers are for a lot of reasons, but mostly because she wants a lot of things to just go away.  I get nervous about that, but I think I'll just have to deal with it... This should be a bumpy ride, but I've explained to her that I'm 100% committed and that she doesn't have to talk about anything anymore if she doesn't want to.  I did ask her to visit a psychatrist sometime next month when she feels up for it... and after two visits if she doesn't want to, just stop.  Do you think we're doing alright??? Any red flags???

Well... I need some help,

   I'm knew to the whole dealing with rape thing and am finding it, so far, to be quite unbearable.  I'll start with some background.  One week ago, my girlfriend, while on vacation, was out having drinks with her friend (possibly a lot because she definitely is somewhat a lush, but she says she doesn't think so), having a good time, and they met this guy that says he was gay at one of the nice bars they were at.  Unfortunately, this is where my story gets confusing... and it still is for me.  I am missing as many details as she may or may not be...  So, they're having fun, close the bar, then take a taxi... (he shares it with them... I guess because it's on the way but I don't know and have trouble asking her about it).  Then, they end up going up for a drink, maybe to hangout and check his place out or something... I still don't know... So, they're both there, and he is trying to make sure they at least have one drink before they leave.  More than likely, he drugged them, and they were drunk, and her friend ended up wandering the streets getting picked up by a cop.  She on the other hand got the worst of it.  I don't know if she gave in, was drugged, or... though I doubt, wanted this...  They both ended up at the hospital, my GF ended up at the police station then getting tested and all the drugs she needed.  She did everything right after the fact, but obviously... I'm having trouble with the story. 

I need help.

I have read TOO much about all of the possibilities and have imagined EVERY scenario, I really want to be 100% there for her, but I'm still can't shake not knowing... Any help please?  I don't want to end things with her in any way but if I ask about any details I am in for a night of doubt, and coldness toward everything we have together.  I feel like I need to just accept it as is... but am obviously not doing well with that.  I'm the kind of guy that wants to fill in the blanks so that I can solve this, file it away, understand what happened and make sure it doesn't happen again.  But, what's worked for me in the past is not working now.  Should I ask her?  of should I somehow drop it and be everything she wants me to be... because we're probably moving in together, in a different city in a month and committing ourselves to each other for at least three years.  I am still mostly supportive and helpful, and I'd say 3/4 of the time happy and playful.  I can't even imagine enjoying alcohol, and I'm having trouble enjoying myself around people that aren't the closest of friends.  I realize I'm not dealing with this the best which is why I'm seeking help online at the moment, but I could really use some advice from people that have either been in this situation, either raped themselves and had a boyfriend or been a boyfriend of a successful relationship after the rape.  My guess is that most relationships don't make it through stuff like this because of bad reactions like mine or my inability to be normal and unprotective after.  She loves being free to go and be wherever and I always was good with that and trusting and now I'm not even close!  Ugh, someone just talk to me I guess...

Hello ,My name is Gary.I can see we are in for some rough times ahead I am a recovering alcoholic looking to rebuild my life.I am not looking for pity,this sickness is real and very dangerous,As the times get worse more and more people will be looking for help with this problem.I would like to get on my feet with a home ,car, and funds.It's just for my family.But I would be healthy enough to help spread the word.This curse took almost everything from me including my life.Being in recovery I feel alive day to day and just for today. I would also like to say that alcohol does damage you can't even feel happenig I now have alcoholic neuropathy that causes major pain in the feet and hips and legs.It is also in my hands I tend to drop things.I can't drive, so I would have to work from a home.                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I'm a good person that needs help, from someone that can afford it.

Thanks Gary 

Out of the blue it is like a light went on in my head and now i get it. i have been sober for almost 5 months yet i still had the thinking of a drunk, with following the process and attending meetings and group sessions i still did not feel as if i was being healed from this illness and that is because in my mind i was still playing the victim. i went from drinking to cover up pain past and present to treating people badly and felt it was justified because of the things i had gone through. the bible says when my people who are called by my name humble themselves and pray then i will heal the land. it was not until i began to humble myself did i feel i was being healed from this disease. i had to forgive all that i felt was done wrong to me. i had to stop thinking i was better then others and start treating people with respect. i had to stop justifying my actions and start asking people to forgive me. all i want is to be happy and sober and enjoy life with out holding on the horrible past. I LET IT GO!. so now with a clear mind and a new heart i am ready to recieve healing and i find not only is staying sober within my grasp. I am being healed from things i hand no idea i held on too for so many years. To wrap this up I have learned that changing the way we think can and will change a situation!

Do have a drug or alcohol problem? Are you not confident with yourself. Are you not obtaining your goals. Do you need encouragement?

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-elderly-homeless_26jun26,0,5323699.story

The worst thing that can happen to you is that you feel there will be comfort in turning to alcohol or drugs - It never fails; problems only worsen when this happens.

I am in a bad situation, but I will not allow myself to be given over to drug/alcohol use. You shouldn't either. My church has recently given me some financial aid, as well as food bank items to help sustain us until I can find another job. My family has also helped.

If you are trying to do that which is right, and are in God's will, He will take care of you. He will also provide ways to make things in your life right again. He wants you to ask Him for these things. That is what He is there for. Just try it and see for yourself... Pray without ceasing, if necessary... Get others to pray with you no matter WHERE you are!

I recently worked in a place where I was in a position to help others. I told many of them that we were all one step away from where they were; asking for help - Within a matter of a few months, I was there. I am there now.

If you are a veteran, contact the nearest Veterans Administration; they well assist you with many needed meds, etc.

Visit your local Department of Labor. They have tried to help me quite a bit. If you find a job you like, they actually have a OJT program that will pay the employer 50% of your wages for up to around 19 weeks. This is a good incentive for the employer to hire you. It may not be available in all states, but it just might be in yours. Go and visit them tomorrow!

Just don't give up - Make the turn in the right direction. Find Jesus and a church in which His spirit is obvious; make certain it is not a cult. If you booze, you're gonna lose...  ;  ) ~NWM